david beck. good night >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- david beckham, chris perfetti, and music from cage the elephant. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel!

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us in our studio we have in hollywood, california. i appreciate it, but it's too much, it really is. [ laughter ] it was a day off for the trump trial today. which has been a lot of fun so far, i have to say. don money-honey, stormy daniels, took the stand yesterday and caused quite a commotion. stormy yesterday went into a bit more detail about their sexual encounter than the president and his legal team were hoping she would.

sadly, there are no cameras allowed in the courtroom, so we've had to rely on sketches and transcripts. at one point, while stormy daniels was recounting the story of spanking trump with a "forbes" magazine, judge merchan pulled one of his lawyers aside to issue a warning after trump appeared to mutter "bull s-word" under his breath. the judge said he chose to speak to the lawyer privately so as not to embarrass trump, who is on trial for chub-humping a porn star -- [ laughter ] while his wife was home with hare infant son. i'm pretty sure the embarrassment cat is out of the golf bag already. [ laughter ] and while all this was happening, they were holding a primary election in indiana. obviously, trump won on the republican side because he's the only republican running. but once again, a lot of votes were cast for nikki haley, who dropped out two months ago. nikki haley disappeared at the beginning of march and she still took more than 20% of the vote. which means either a large chunk of indiana voters are not planning for trump, or mike pence voted 128,000 times. [ laughter ] [ applause ] trump used his day off from the

trial today to focus on his pyramid scheme. [ laughter ] he hosted a vip dinner at mar-a-lago, for stuper fans who bought his nfts. [ laughter ] to get an invite you had to buy all 47 of trump's nfts at 99 bucks a pop. i'd hate to have to be trump's assistant this morning. "sir, a reminder that tonight you have to eat with the freaks who paid $4,700 for pictures of you wearing tights and a cape." some of these lemonheads paid $10,000 for the honor of having the former president fart on them in person. [ laughter ] but you can't argue about the fact that these nfts are aesthetically quite stunning. just look at all the time and talent that went into this -- laugh laugh the drawing of the lepre-conman with his pot of other people's gold. here's butch casserole. pretending to be a cowboy. this one commemorates the moment don told don jr. that santa isn't real. [ laughter ] and not only did the suckers, i mean customers, get digital trading cards, those who spent the most got a piece of the suit

he was wearing when he was arrested. as you can see, the value? priceless. [ laughter ] until he gets arrested in four other suits. [ laughter ] and then we have melania doing her be-best to cash in too with signature "mother's day" jewelry. this is melania's "love & gratitude" necklace. you can see it is in the form of a three-leaf clover, because when you're donald trump's wife, you don't believe in luck. [ laughter ] the back of the necklace features the former first lady's signature, which is alarmingly similar to her husband's. hey both look like the printout from an ekg of someone having a heart attack. [ laughter ] and that's not the only trump family trinket for sale. >> this mother's day, celebrate mom with first america lady, a message she wants world to know. the melania trump eric is not my [ bleep ] son. celebrate mother you love with thing melania most proud of. not biegeric's mom.

these exquisite necklaces make statements straight from melania's heart, like, "i barely even know eric." "he's ivana,'s not mine." and of course, "eric who?" melania is proud mother of barron trump and barron trump alone. and nobody with face of sad possum. order now and receive clump of hair melania found in seat, absolutely free. tell mother you love her with melania trump "eric is not my son" jewelry collection. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you're welcome, you're welcome. insiders say melania's dream is to design a necklace so big she can use to it choke her husband, like princess leia and jabba the hutt. [ laughter ] you know, we spend a lot of time goofing on trump but it's important to remember that we

also have a third-party candidate who's out of his mind, robert f. kennedy jr. this is a bombshell. according to a recently disc discovered deposition from his divorce proceedings, rfk claims a worm ate his brain. [ laughter ] or part of his brain. and while we don't know for sure what would cause this, dr. sanjay gupta might. >> i can tell you as a neuro surgeon, this is a rare can be, but it's typically something that is caused by eating underbooked pork. >> jimmy: that sounds right. [ laughter ] raw bacon. worms in the brain, that explains the ivermectin, it is a dewormer. for a guy who seems to believe doctors are con artists trying to scam you into getting a vaccine, he sure did get to one fast when a worm started eating his brain. [ laughter ] the inside of his head is basically the movie "dune." [ laughter ] but you should definitely vote for him, he's a kennedy. junior, you know. [ laughter ] speaking of brain worms governor kristi noem continues to flounder helplessly.

she shared a story in her book about shooting cricket, her 14-month-old hunting dog, on purpose, and also shooting three horses and a pet goat. needless to say this anecdote hasn't gone over so well with anyone, and her book is not doing -- it peaked at amazon yesterday at number 58, and today it has dropped out of the top 100 completely. this is funny, number 91? this is real. is the children's book "puppy birthday to you." [ laughter ] so score one for the canines. this whole experience has been a disaster for governor noem, but she would like us to read it and decide for ourselves. here's an excerpt from the audiobook they released today. i will say, it does play differently when you hear it coming from her mouth. >> my hands were still shaking as i pulled into the parking lot. i could almost taste puppy blood. i jumped out of my american-built japanese pickup and kicked the doors to petco wide open. inside, i saw them. puppies. white, tan, brown, even black.

all tumbly and bouncy with their floppy ears and little wet noses. god, i hated them. i put my earbuds in so i could blast "ave maria" and mama went to work. i shouted, "time to die, cutie buys." and when the dogs were dead, i started in on the other pets. bam, bam! bye-bye, parakeets. sayonara, turtles. the only animal i left alive were the single trembling hamster named petey. i spared spooety so he could tell the others what happened that day. i guess if i was a better politician, i wouldn't be telling this story right now. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i couldn't read more. the other hot topic on the angry news channels is the boy scouts. have you heard about this? after 114 years, the boy scouts of america, in an attempt to be more inclusive, are changing their name to scouting america. and this has the right-wingers highly upset!

>> bye-bye boy scouts, emphasis on the boy. >> the boy scouts used to be this last bastion of the area where boys could really be boys and celebrate their boyness. >> you don't know what it means to be a boy or girl in america anymore. >> men can't be men, women can't be women, boys can't be boys, girls can't be girls. >> now they're being educated in wokism. >> the woke are broke and the boy scouts of american have chosen to go woke, and they're being broken. >> you have a woke-i guying institution trying to appease people who are unapieceable. >> no more genders, let's just all get together. same outfits, same union formals, same caps, it will be great. >> yeah, so they're dead, the boy scouts are dead. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh my gosh. was it kristi noem again? [ laughter ] look, the problem with the bow scouts isn't that it's not inclusive, it's that their business plan is -- "hey kids, you wanna put on a scarf and whittle?" >> guillermo: we interrupt this

monologue nobody cares about for a "guillermo live from hollywood with the latest breaking exclusivo is guillermo! >> jimmy: hold on a second. [ cheers and applause ] what are you doing, guillermo? i'm in the middle of the show. >> guillermo: well, i'm in the middle of an exclusivo, dumbass! "guillermo exclusivo!" >> jimmy: can you do me a favor and do this after the show? >> guillermo: jimmy, i think the audience, they'd rather see my show than your show. >> jimmy: i don't think that's true, guillermo, i don't really -- hey, what's going on over there? guillermo, can you do this after the show, please? >> guillermo: jimmy, does your show have people popping wheelies on motorcycles? >> jimmy: no, i -- no. >> guillermo: does your show have crazy cars and people bounce around on poles?

>> jimmy: no we don't have that. >> guillermo: does your show have chris hemsworth and ana taylor-joy in a motorcycle chariot? >> jimmy: no. no, we don't have that. we don't have chris hemsworth or ana taylor-joy in a chariot. >> guillermo: then it's not a "guillermo exclusivo!" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i do understand that. >> guillermo: i would like to welcome my guests miss anya taylor-joy and mr. chris hemsworth. >> jimmy: what are their names? [ laughter ] >> guillermo: mr. hemsworth and ana taylor-joy. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> guillermo: an honor to have you here. [ cheers and applause ] >> guillermo: it's an honor to have you here. and not on "jimmy kimmel live." >> it is an honor to be here, not on "jimmy kimmel live." >> yes, my sentiments exactly. >> jimmy: oh, come on, guys.

>> guillermo: so your movie is called "furiosa"? >> what was it? what? >> guillermo: then it is time for "furiosa mimosa!" >> yes. >> what's a furiosa mimosa? >> yes, what is a furiosa mimosa? >> ooh! thank you so much. here you go, darling. >> thank you. >> thank you. >> jimmy: all right, thank you, guille guillermo. thanks so much. >> guillermo: now who's ready to play, guess what i'm thinking of? "what is guillermo thinking of?" >> jimmy: no one. >> guillermo: think what i'm thinking of, okay? >> okay. >> guillermo: guess what i'm thinking of, okay? >> what are you thinking? >> i'm getting something. it's -- fried chicken. >> guillermo: yeah, fried chicken! >> i was going to say fried chicken!

dammit. >> jimmy: here's some money, here, take some money. >> money? >> thank you. >> jimmy: wait a minute. that's my wallet, guillermo, where did you get my wallet? >> that's very kind of you. >> guillermo: you left it on your desk, dumbass. well, that's all the time we have. i want to say thank you to ana taylor-joy and thank you to mr. chris hemsworth. >> jimmy: what? >> guillermo: "furiosa: a mad max saga" in theaters on may 24th. this was a "guillermo exclusivo!" >> jimmy: when he comes back in i'm going to make him pronounce those names 11 times in a row. [ laughter ] we've got a good show for you tonight. from "abbott elementary" chris perfetti is here. we have music from cage the elephant, and we'll be right back with david beckham.

. >> jimmy: hi, welcome back. tonight, a man you can see every wednesday night on "abbott elementary," chris perfetti is with us. then later a grammy award-winning band. their new album "neon pill" comes out the friday after next, cage the elephant from the don julio outdoor stage. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, chris pine and bert kreischer will join us with music from andra day. that will be tomorrow night. oh -- oh my gosh. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you? andra taylor-joy and chris hemsworth! [ cheers and applause ] would you like to have a seat?

>> we just need to use your bathroom. >> jimmy: what's that? >> we need a bathroom, guillermo doesn't have one. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he has a bathroom, he's got a bathroom back there. >> he told us that he didn't, and he kind of gave us a lot of the -- that thing. >> jimmy: all right, the bathroom, there's one right out here -- >> i've got a few friends as well need to use it. >> jimmy: yeah, you can go -- >> come on. >> jimmy: you have friends? >> let's go. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, you're leaving? [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right, wow. there you go. that's most of the cast of "furiosa."

are you done hijacking the show, mad maximo? >> guillermo: yeah, jimmy, that was crazy. >> jimmy: all right. it's a weird area we work in, isn't it? >> guillermo: yeah, very weird. >> jimmy: very weird, yes. our first guest tonight is one of the most famous athletes in the world who's not only responsible for bringing messi to this country, he brought the spice girls back together too. his very entertaining docu-series "beckham" is on netflix now, please welcome david beckham. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: is this the secret to your beauty? you put honey on your face? >> it is, it is. >> jimmy: this is your own honey? >> it is our own honey, yeah. >> jimmy: we could have used you earlier today. i don't know if you heard about

this. show this. we have a little video. we had a swarm of bees living under an umbrella outside. did you know any of those guys? [ laughter ] >> unfortunately not. >> jimmy: those are not your guys? >> i'll have to take them back to london. >> jimmy: yes, sure, that would be great on the plane. [ laughter ] you owned, for people who don't follow what we call soccer, you call football, sometimes we meet in the middle -- you own the miami football club, you're one of the owners. [ cheers and applause ] how many owners are there? mostly you? >> there's three of us. there's myself and then two brothers, jorge -- >> jimmy: is it more successful than you thought it was going to be? >> i always hoped it would be this successful. obviously, bringing someone like leo helps. so obviously that was always the plan. but you never know. >> jimmy: like, are you aware of how popular he is? like, i know in miami, obviously, a lot of people --

but my son, who's 7 years old, who has never watched one moment of football. he is -- he couldn't pick messi out of a lineup. yet he's got the whole -- he's got all the apparel, the pink shirt, the cleats, the whole deal. he's just like messi crazy. even though -- i don't know. he just -- somehow it happened, i don't know what happened. >> it's just that effect that leo has on the game and the world, you know? one of the reasons why we wanted to bring him to america was to inspire the next generation. that was my plan. i obviously wanted to bring him for the player he is and the person he is, you know. i've played against him numerous times. actually, twice, thankfully. [ laughter ] thankfully. but i've been a fan of him and watched him for many years, and i always had the plan to bring, you know, the greatest player to ever play the game, in my opinion, to our team. and luckily, it happened. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: is he, in your opinion -- >> yeah -- >> jimmy: is he the greatest

player ever to play the game? >> i think everyone's got their own opinions. but for me personally -- >> jimmy: yours have to mean more than others'. [ laughter ] >> there's a lot of great players who have played the game over the years. but in my opinion, he's the perfect player. >> jimmy: how do you convince him to come out? did you say, look how well everything worked out for me? [ laughter ] >> well, i could actually come at him and with him with, obviously, my experience of moving to america, coming to a league -- actually, at that time, it wasn't established like it is now. >> jimmy: right. >> there was only 13 teams in the league. now there's almost 30. and it's in a different position than what it was back then when i first came. but -- you know, he's always loved miami. he always loved the idea of the project of bringing the game even bigger in this country. when you bring someone like that to america, people notice. >> jimmy: yeah, well sure. we certainly notice when you showed up. >> it's been very special. >> jimmy: yeah. your wife, most people, i would

presume, know is victoria -- [ cheers and applause ] from the spice girls. i mentioned in your introduction she had a birthday party. you put this together? >> a big one, i did put it together. >> jimmy: i think we have a video of what happened at the birthday party. ♪ right now thank you very much ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how long had it been since they sang together? >> it's actually been 12 years since they did the olympics in the uk. but 15 -- over 15 years since they actually were on the stage together. so obviously having them all there that night -- and i didn't expect them to all get up on stage, but i had a whole video planned where me and my kids recreated the video. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> my son, who plays the guitar and sings, had a song, and he sang "mama." then all of a sudden, all the girls got up. and i was like -- and i'm their biggest fan, you know?

i tend to not tell my wife that. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> i tend to tell her that i fancied her. but she was a spice girl. [ laughter ] so, you know. >> jimmy: yeah, sure. >> i love that about her. >> jimmy: yeah, sure. i'm sure she loved the fact that you were on a team too, right? [ laughter ] >> yeah, yeah, yeah. so i was a fan. >> jimmy: i loved your documentary. [ cheers and applause ] i mean, it was so good. if you have not seen it, it's like -- to be honest, i have almost zero interest in soccer. i mean, i really -- but i thought you guys, the two of you and your story, is incredible. and your chemistry. and just, like -- just how funny you guys are together was really delightful to watch. we got so caught up in it. >> yeah, well you know, we've been together for 27 years in july. [ cheers and applause ] we've been married for 25. so it's our 25th wedding anniversary in july. but with the documentary, you know, people wanted me to do it a long time ago.

you know, when i retired, and i actually wasn't ready to kind of look back. i was ready to jump into something else on the business and with miami. but then made a plan about seven years out, and i said, okay. for my ten-year anniversary of my retirement, i want to do a documentary. that was really the plan. but then when we did it, you know, it was -- it just -- it was amazing. >> jimmy: some of the footage, really one of the your main cameramen is your dad. because he shot so much video of you. we're going to show a little bit of that in a second. but what did -- when you saw it, when you watched the whole thing for the first time, how did it hit you? >> well, i planned to watch it on the morning, one morning early, just myself, with a big screen and just, you know, to write notes. because it was a really early edit. when i watched it that morning, i really didn't like it. i didn't enjoy watching it. so i'd planned to then let my wife watch it for the first time at the premiere. but obviously i then had to change that and get her to watch

it that evening with me. and we literally, we sat in bed with a notepad, and we watched two hours of rough edit. and -- like we got to the end, we looked at each other, we were so emotional. it was like -- like we laughed, we cried, we were tired because we've done so much in that 27 years, you know. and that -- and that really was the moment where i fell in love with the documentary. because i knew that she loved it, and that meant more to me. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: did you learn -- one of the things that we learned in the documentary is that you are a neat freak to an extreme. [ laughter ] extreme, like a real extreme. >> yeah, yeah, i know. >> jimmy: like, after you're in bed watching this, do you say, "okay, now we're going to make the bed." [ laughter ] >> yeah, i'm -- i'm a little bit ocd. >> jimmy: yeah, more than a little bit ocd. are you looking around right now and wanting to clean stuff up here? >> a little bit.

the carpet could have been vacuumed. [ laughter ] but in all honesty, you know -- that is what i'm like. victoria always jokes. when we have our friends around for dinner or drinks, you know, i start turning lights off and cleaning the candles, you know. >> jimmy: you clean the candle wicks? >> i do, i do. >> jimmy: insanity. >> it's not just the wicks. it's the outside of the glass as well. [ laughter ] i know, i know. >> jimmy: it's not just the wicks, folks. david beckham is here. [ cheers and applause ] his dumentary is on netflix called "beckham." we'll be right back. to be the first to know... that target now has unlimited same-day delivery with target circle 360? how'd you know that? let's just say a little bird told me... hey lady, did you hear the news? it was judy, wasn't it? she told you! actually his name was howard! from chicago!

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my dad used to make me do corner after corner after corner after corner and put it in the exact same spot as he wanted it. and if i didn't, he'd kill me. he used to tell me, "there's moments like corners at the end of the game that can create history." >> this is the moment. deck ham. it's twickenham's goal. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: david beckham, his documentary is called "beckham." it's on netflix. boy, your dad -- for those who haven't seen it, he taped every one of your games. and he's a little bit of a

maniac, yes? >> i mean, i wouldn't call him a maniac. >> jimmy: i would, i would. [ laughter ] >> yeah, but he was quite obsessed with me becoming a footballer. so yeah, he taped everything. kept every newspaper cutting, everything. my mom was the same. mom was exactly the same. >> jimmy: mom seemed a little, at least in the documentary, she seemed a little -- a little like maybe she wanted your dad to ease up a little bit? >> she's a protective mom. she took it out on a journalist once. she stayed in a hotel, and there was this one journalist that just kept on writing really not nice things about me, about my game. and she found out what room he was in. [ laughter ] so she put -- so she put every dinner, every drink on his room. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: good, good. >> protective mom. >> jimmy: you went through a lot. i felt very sorry for you at parts of the documentary. people go, "oh, he's a millionaire, he's married to one of the spice girls, she's just

incredibly handsome." [ laughter ] "we shouldn't feel sorry for him." but i did feel sorry for you. >> i think one of the reasons -- one of the things that came out in the documentary, to be honest, is in the u.s., i think people obviously knew that i came to the galaxy. they knew my career. but what they didn't know was that, what that -- what happened throughout my career. i think that surprised a lot of people. and i also, you know -- even in the uk, through that time, it was difficult. and yaw saw it was difficult. but recently, we were in a pub in london. and i came out. and on the windscreen of my car was a note, no name on it, just, "we're so sorry for the way we treated you." [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's nice. >> i liked that. >> jimmy: "signed, everyone." do you ever talk to travis kelce and say, hey, man, here's what you have to expect? [ laughter ] >> i think he can handle it. >> jimmy: you think he can handle it? >> yeah, we know taylor can definitely handle it.

>> jimmy: you -- one of the things your dad did was, he would give you -- i think we have a photograph. he would give you guinness and raw eggs to bulk you up. >> yep. >> jimmy: how old are you here? >> i think i'm maybe 11. >> jimmy: you know, in the united states, he would be arrested for this. [ laughter ] >> yeah. well, the reason behind that was, my hero as a kid was a player called brian robson. he used to play for the manchester united team and also england. so he was my hero. and i read his book when i was a young kid. and he was really small and skinny when he was -- as a kid. and that he did, he drank guinness and raw eggs. and i got the idea. so i said to my dad, "can i do it?" and as you see, that's what happens when you drink guinness at 11. >> jimmy: would you get drunk? >> no. i'd only have like half a glass. >> jimmy: okay. >> then a few raw eggs. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i know, it's so

different -- that's one of the big differences between our countries is that does not fly here at all. >> i know, i know. >> jimmy: yeah. did you see tom brady's roast the other night? >> i did. >> jimmy: you did. would you ever do something like that? >> no. >> jimmy: no? [ laughter ] you wouldn't? >> no. absolutely -- you know, i -- the whole concept is -- you know, it's quite funny. it was very funny. but, you know, i know tom well. and i must admit, i did fire him a message just to check he was okay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you did? >> yeah. i was like, "are you okay?" >> jimmy: is he okay? >> he's more than okay. but yeah, it was -- it was hard to watch. >> jimmy: so next year, we will not see you roasted? >> no. >> jimmy: no, okay. >> no, definitely not. >> jimmy: it's great to see you. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i highly recommend the documentary. it's called "beckham." it's on netflix now. [ cheers and applause ] mr. david beckham, everybody. we'll be back with chris perfe we'll be back with chris perfe perfetti! o ♪

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>> lou: tomorrow on "jimmy kimmel live" --

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hello there, welcome. music from cage the elephant is on the way. our next guest plays history teacher jacob hill on the big hit show "abbott elementary." you can see it wednesdays at 9:00 here on abc. please say hello to chris perfetti. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> jimmy: last time you were here, you were super excited because jennifer lopez was the guest. >> i'm super excited this time, i get to meet mr. victoria beckham. [ laughter and applause ] i feel like you're building these shows around me. >> jimmy: i am. >> it's really catering to my -- >> jimmy: who do you want next time? we can figure it out. >> i'll make a list, i'll make sure you get it. >> jimmy: all right, for sure, maybe for christmas we'll do that, yeah. are you done taping "abbott elementary" for the -- >> yes, we just wrapped season three of "abbott elementary." [ cheers and applause ] hence the beard and the nails. >> jimmy: and you will go home now or that? >> yes, yes. as soon as we wrap, almost immediately, i alisterter

appearance in some way and go back to brooklyn where there's loud italian people, people talking to themselves on the street, and theater, and that's where i'm at. >> jimmy: you're from a loud italian family? >> i'm from a very nice, well-mannered, poe white italian family. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they have those? i haven't met any. [ laughter ] yeah, mine is pretty loud and ill-mannered. yours lives where? >> we're the perfettis, which means "perfect" in italian, we sort of lucked out. >> jimmy: we're more the spaghettis than the perfettis. [ laughter ] is the family perfect? who is the most perfect member of your family? >> yes, they are all perfect. they do not contribute to my mental illne neness in any way. [ laughter ] they are -- you know, they're incredible. >> jimmy: you -- i think the last time you were here, you were talking about your costar, lisa ann walter, who's very nice and a great cook. she makes meatballs. you said her meatballs -- i

think you said they rivaled your grandmother's meatballs. did grandma get word about that? >> did i say that? >> jimmy: you did say that. >> retraumatizing her now, i guess. >> jimmy: yes. >> yes, they heard about that. they changed the garage code. [ laughter ] i can no longer get in. but i'm doing the work to make amends. no, she was very -- i think if they weren't such a huge fan of lisa's, they probably would have taken that as a threat. >> jimmy: yeah, bus that can be a big thing. it can be a weird thing. even within a family. like whose whatever, meatballs, sauce, whatever is best. >> yeah, i think david attenborough should make a "planet earth" series about it. it's that kind of competition. >> jimmy: that's actually an excellent idea. i know you're going home for a little bit of r&r. you might want to get the cameras out and start rolling on the family. >> done. >> jimmy: do they watch the show every week? chime in on it? >> they do. they do.

they remind me that it's on. >> jimmy: oh, because -- yeah, you're like, i know what happened. >> i was there. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> no, i also just, like, find the experience of watching myself kind of -- mild to moderately torturous. [ laughter ] but they remind me of what happened that week. they pitchy the ideas. >> jimmy: who gives you ideas? >> i mean, it's mostly mom. >> jimmy: oh, your mom. >> it's a protective thing, you know? you know, italian moms. you know, she's just looking out for me. but you know -- unfortunately, her ideas are not funny. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, they're not? are they not funny because they're just not funny? or are they not even funny ideas? >> they are not -- oh -- hi, mom! [ laughter ] they're just not right for our -- >> jimmy: you should be honest and be open and just address your mother right to the camera. >> while i have you, mom -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what's an idea?

>> when i was 4, you -- no they're not -- she has great ideas, actually. but you can't really do them on abc. and you can't really do them in our show. >> jimmy: what do you mean? like what? >> like more drama. you know, like -- more drama, which our show is not. >> jimmy: so she suggests -- >> she thinks that i should, obviously, be the -- in every scene. >> jimmy: right, okay. >> in the show, which i'm in just enough, i'm very happy. >> jimmy: then drama, are we talking about crimes here? what are we talking about? >> i don't know. i think it's my fault, because i've sort of conditioned her to -- you know, before "abbott," i'm typically cast as these kind of tragic, brooding characters. so i've made her come to a lot of plays where i'm, you know, screaming and crying and naked and, you know -- i think that's what she's used to, you know? >> jimmy: because when you were a baby, you were screaming and crying and naked. >> right. >> jimmy: so it's really just more of that. and then -- you know, it's

teacher appreciation week, are you aware of that? >> i'm aware. [ cheers and applause ] happy, happy -- >> jimmy: you play a teacher. i know from talking to many of your castmates that you hear from teachers a lot. i assume you do? >> yeah. it's really great. >> jimmy: even your own teachers as a child? >> i have, i have heard from a few of them. it's -- it's really wild. it's really gratifying. >> jimmy: do you have a particular memory of a teacher from when you were a kid in school? >> i mean, the one that really kind of changed the trajectory of my life was, i remember being handed a play and that really kind of set things into motion. i was a bad student. i had no business being in a school. and there were a few who were like, "oh, i think he actually just needs this." so i remember that like it happened yesterday. and weirdly, i just remembered one of my teachers over the summer, speaking of school's out for summer, one of my teachers delivered a pizza to my house.

and that is disturbing for many reasons. >> jimmy: oh, as a -- not as a gift? as a pizza delivery person? >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: oh, no. >> as a job. >> jimmy: oh, no. >> yes. oh, yes. >> jimmy: oh, boy. >> yeah. >> jimmy: what was that interaction like? >> i mean, i just remember -- i think i sort of froze. and it was -- any time you see somebody that you're used to seeing in one context -- >> jimmy: it's weird seeing a teacher in the wild as it is. >> yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] yeah, it's like i saw his car, i saw, like, his clothes, his not-teacher clothes. [ laughter ] it was summer. you know, in summer you're really caught off guard. in summer you're like -- you know, you're wild. and so -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> it was absolutely crazy. >> jimmy: you're naked, you're screaming, you're crying. [ laughter ] >> exactly. >> jimmy: did you ever speak about this with your teacher at school? >> no. >> jimmy: did you tip your teacher?

and if so, how much? >> uh -- i didn't. >> jimmy: you didn't. >> i'm sure -- i'm sure somebody did. >> jimmy: yeah, i hope so. i really hope so, yeah. you can't hand the pizza delivery guy an apple, you won't get away with that. [ laughter ] i think -- >> i know this particular teacher didn't like me very much. >> jimmy: oh. >> i think i -- i -- i could have made out much worse. >> jimmy: uh-huh, yeah. >> i could have told the whole school about it. >> jimmy: yeah, "mr. pepperoni came to my house!" yeah, that's how i would have handled it. you did a much better, a more mature job. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i think the moral for the story is that teachers need to be paid more. [ cheers and applause ] if they have to be delivering pizza in the summertime. that's right. >> without a doubt. >> jimmy: enjoy your vacation. give my best to your family. "abbott elementary." see it wednesday nights, 9:00 on abc. chris perfetti, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be back with cage the elephant!

>> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by tequila don julio, an icon of modern mexico. >> jimmy: thanks to

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by tequila don julio, an icon of modern mexico. >> jimmy: thanks to david beckham, chris perfetti, chris hemsworth and anya taylor-joy. apologies to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next but first, you can get their new album "neon pill" on may 17th. here with the world premiere of their song "rainbow," cage the elephant! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ let's lay it out lay it all on the table ♪ ♪ straight from the top you called my hand and i felt labeled ♪ ♪ saw the one past whispers that i hated ♪ ♪ trapped inside a mirror

changing shapes to shake those labels ♪ ♪ soft crush twin flame bright lights ♪ ♪ no shame home base even when it's painful ♪ ♪ you lift me up all in tight knit ♪ ♪ second skin won't quit satellite faithful ♪ ♪ floating like a rainbow ♪ ♪ you lift me up when i get down right 'round ♪ ♪ got me floating like a rainbow ♪ ♪ i need your touch your touch right now right 'round ♪ ♪ got me floating like a rainbow ♪ ♪ and so this world keeps turning round right 'round ♪ ♪ got me floating like a rainbow ♪ ♪ you lift me up when i get down right 'round ♪ ♪ got me floating like a rainbow floating like a rainbow ♪ ♪ you are more vibrant than a technicolor flower bloom ♪ ♪ worth more than any sunset that i ever even knew ♪ ♪ as far as east is to the west there is no flaw in you ♪ ♪ it's you i want it's you i want it's you i want and only you ♪ ♪ you lift me up all in tight knit ♪ ♪ second skin

won't quit satellite faithful ♪ ♪ floating like a rainbow ♪ ♪ you lift me up when i get down right 'round ♪ ♪ got me floating like a rainbow ♪ ♪ i need your touch your touch right now right 'round ♪ ♪ got me floating like a rainbow ♪ ♪ and so this world keeps turning round right 'round ♪ ♪ got me floating like a rainbow ♪ ♪ you lift me up when i get down right round ♪ ♪ got me floating like a rainbow floating like a rainbow ♪ ♪ the lights go out and i'm back inside that hallway ♪ ♪ shadow boxing shame and self inflicted mind games ♪ ♪ burning the candle from both ends has got me sideways ♪ ♪ am i afraid to lose or more afraid to lose my way ♪ ♪ you lift me up when i get down right 'round ♪ ♪ got me floating like a rainbow ♪ ♪ i need your touch your touch right now ♪ ♪ you lift me up when i get down you lift me up when i get down ♪ ♪ right 'round got me floating like a rainbow floating like a rainbow ♪ ♪ you lift me up when i get down right 'round ♪

♪ got me floating like a rainbow ♪ ♪ i need your touch your touch right now right 'round ♪ ♪ got me floating like a rainbow ♪ ♪ and so this world keeps turning round right 'round ♪ ♪ got me floating like a rainbow ♪ ♪ you lift me up when i get down right 'round ♪ ♪ got me floating like a rainbow floating like a rainbow floating like a rainbow ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ this is "nightline." >> byron: tonight, trapped in russia. a list of detained americans growing. >> what do they say when they call? >> they said he was being detained in russia. >> byron: